Survivor: Micronesia - Fans vs. Favorites - Episode 1, “Jonny Have You Seen Her?”

Survivor is finally back! It hasn’t been gone that long, but it was long enough. This go around we have a half all-star, half super-fan edition that returns Survivor to the beautiful islands of Palau.

As we already knew before last night’s episode, the Survivors were divided into two teams, Fans and Favorites (favorites being used as a loose term meaning past Survivor contestants who fans of the show are likely to remember for one reason or another, not necessarily past contestants who are actual “favorites”). I’m hoping this is the season I’ve been waiting for all this time - a season full of contestants who actually want to play the game because they’ve seen the show. I can’t tell you how sick I am of people who still go on the show having barely even seen an episode.

Anyway, on with the show!

Meeting The Survivors

The 10 Super Fans are the first to arrive. They arrive in a long canoe rowed by locals. Jeff Probst is waiting for them on the beach in the pouring rain. After a quick welcome he announces to them that it’s only fitting that the biggest fans of the game will be playing against some of the favorites from seasons past. He then announces the Favorites one by one. They are applauded in various degrees by the Fans - Yau-Man gets the loudest applause.

Jonny Fairplay is the last to be brought out. He’s wearing a hat that says “Will Lie 4 Food.” He and Jeff start sniping at one another right away. The word is these two don’t really like each other in real life. It seems Jonny once got into a fight with Jeff’s brother at a Survivor party of some kind and was asked to leave. He was thereafter barred from such events. The Fans don’t seem to be very impressed by him either.

Jeff then gives the two tribes their names.

Favorites - Malakal

Amanda, Amie, Cirie, Eliza, James,
Jonathan, Jon, Ozzy, Parvati, Yau-Man

Fans - Airai

Alexis, Chet, Erik, Jason, Joel,
Kathleen, Mary, Mikey B, Natalie, Tracy

By the time Jeff finishes giving them their buffs a torrential downpour has started and Jeff hastily gives them their first challenge. He tells them that across the water on the another beach is a boat for each tribe and that inside each boat is a map to their new home. However, there are also two individual immunity idols - one for each tribe. The first person from each tribe to find it gets to keep it and use it - but only the very first time their tribe goes to Tribal Council. He then tells them they can go at any time. Naturally they all stand there and stare at him for a few moments. Eliza finally makes a move and the rest quickly follow.

Let The Game Begin!

The mad dash across the water doesn’t really seem to be much of a dash but everyone eventually gets there and starts looking for the idols. Fairplay looks around casually, thinking the idols are probably in plain sight - and he’s right. They’re hanging from the end of the boats. He grabs one but suddenly realizes that he got the one from the wrong boat. He and Yau-Man scramble to get the other idol at the same time. Yau-Man has the angle on it, though, and slams Jon’s head into the side of the boat as he successfully grabs the necklace and holds it high! You gotta love his spunk.

I’m not sure where the Fans are during all this time, but Kathy comes strolling by wondering aloud what’s going on. She already seems to be a few cans short of a six pack. Yau-Man yells for her to pick up the idol which she does thereby giving her immunity. I’m guessing she’s the one that’s going to need it the most.

Cut to Jonny crying to the camera how Yau-Man is a big mean bully who tried to beat him up and bash his head into the side of the boat… Um, yeah, the 80 pound, 90 year old man tried to beat you up Fairplay…

Everyone Meets

The Fans get to their beach and begin introducing themselves to one another. Mikey B immediately gives superficial labels to some of his tribemates such as Big Bird, Southern Princess, Incredible Hulk, Jon Bon Jovi in his prime, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I didn’t care enough to remember which one was supposed to be which.

Kathy starts off on the wrong foot with pretty much everyone by being one of the dumbest people on the planet. She goes up to Chet (yeah, the Queer Eye dude) and asks if he prefers to be called “gayâ€Â? or “homosexual.â€Â? She then asks him if being gay means he wants to be a girl, and Chet says, “heavens, no.â€Â? Kathy says she could immediately tell he was gay. Although, I’m wondering how seeing as how she doesn’t seem to know what a gay person is. She goes on to say that she doesn’t have a problem with it (him being gay or gayness in general, I guess), but she’s never been friends with any gay men – though she thinks she’s worked with somebody in the 1980s who was gay. She wants Chet to be her first gay man friend. Chet is actually good natured about it. They shake hands and laugh and Chet says he bets she’s had a gay friend in the past and didn’t know it.

Now, I don’t know how many episodes of Survivor Kathy’s seen, but common friggin sense should tell you that the whole conversation she had with Chet was SO not the conversation to have on your first day on Survivor. Who cares if she doesn’t know what a gay person is? Keep it to yourself Kathy. This isn’t show and tell.

Or maybe it is for Kathy. Because she then goes to Tracy and talks about how she’s never seen breast implants before (referencing her boobs). Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. If it’s not generally acceptable dinner table conversation material, it probably isn’t appropriate to talk about upon first meeting someone on Survivor. Moron. Like I said, it’s a good thing she got the immunity idol. The others on her tribe pretty much think the same thing. Well, actually, they’re worried because she has the idol and they know she was an easy first target.

Back at the Malakal beach (the Faves) it’s all about the love (and by that I mean mostly Fairplay’s love for himself). He tells us that he always knew he was a favorite. He then informs us that he has a girlfriend back home who is seven months pregnant… My wife and I both gasp at the same time. Isn’t it illegal for some people to reproduce? Shouldn’t it be?

Overall the Faves are actually working pretty well together. They seem to remember what it was like the first time they were on the show so everyone is working hard to get a shelter put together. James is so happy he wants to give everyone hugs.

One person James would like to hug in particular is Parvati. Parvati does a voice over where she says the first time she was on the show she was pretty one dimensional - just a flirt and nothing else. This time, however, is going to be different. She says this as they show her start to flirt with James, of course. James doesn’t seem to mind.

It isn’t long before others begin to notice (Eliza in particular) that Parvati can’t take her eyes or hands off of James. By nightfall they are already snuggling up together in the newly built shelter. Eliza also points out that Ozzy and Amanda had an instant report and seem to already be developing a closeness. Eliza thinks romance is in the air and doesn’t seem to like the idea very much.

I’m actually pretty disappointed in Amanda. I thought she played a really good game in China and for her to fall into this trap so early into this game is a shame. She should know better especially since she was one of the people who didn’t want to allow Courtney and Frosti to get too close. Amanda should know that developing a relationship on Survivor is dangerous and developing one in the first day or two can be downright deadly for your game plan.

Maybe the six weeks she was back from China before leaving again for Micronesia wasn’t enough to cure her loneliness or something. I don’t know. I’m especially concerned, however, because of the fact that when she appeared on the reunion for China she seemed plump and healthy…not all all emaciated or appearing as if she had just spent over a month on an island winning Survivor. The reunion show for China took place right after filming finished for Micronesia so if she had gone for she should have looked thinner…that’s all I’m saying.

Back at the Fans camp it starts pouring down rain and they all get soaked because they took too long to build their shelter. Classic newbie mistake. Kathy starts complaining about how much it sucks. I’m really starting to wonder if this Kathy person has actually ever seen the show before. It doesn’t seem like it.

An Alliance (or two) Is Born

Switching back quickly to the Faves, we see Ozzy rubbing sunscreen on Amanda and Parvati and James whispering sweet nothings. I think I shall dub these four The Four Lovers. I do that because Eliza has correctly surmised that the four of them could easily make an alliance. So, she, Ami, Yau-Man, and Jonathan (pretty much the four people who happen to be standing together at the time) decide then and there to form their own alliance…which I shall call The Four Flukes (because it was a fluke that they were all together at that time). A four-way handshake seals the deal on the first official alliance of Micronesia.

The Four Flukes immediately regress in strategic thinking and begin trying to figure out which of the remaining two Faves, Cirie or Jon they should pull in - no one ever notes that they need both for a six majority which is pretty much what you always need in Survivor. Jonathan wants Jonny and Yau-Man and Ami agree.

They’re a little late to the punch, though, because Parvati and Ozzy go to Jonny first and tell him they want to vote out Eliza first. Ozzy says they don’t like the way she played her season and that she’s “shifty, crafty, some of us feel like they can’t trust her.â€Â? This is the excuse they’re using to get rid of Eliza…while they’re talking to Jonny Fairplay…who lied about his grandma dying…um, okay. At least they admit to the camera that they don’t trust Jon either.

Jonny agrees to go along with The Four Lovers then runs to The Four Flukes and immediately tells them what the plan is. Jonny’s going to do his own thing. Nobody puts Jonny in a corner. He didn’t say that. I just thought it would be fun to write. Anyway, Jonny wants to get rid of Ozzy which is probably a smart move but the others insist on Parvati because she’s a bigger threat as a…um…”social” player. Jonathan also has a secret Survivor crush on Jonny and would take him all the way to the end if he could. By Survivor crush I mean he feels like he could use him at will then beat him in the final Tribal Council. They decide on Parvati…before they’ve even played the challenge.

The Immunity Challenge

Fast forward a little and we finally get to the Immunity Challenge (there’s no Reward Challenge in the first episode). Jeff asks both teams questions about how they’re doing. Fairplay says that they’re having three courses for every meal and he’s gaining weight. Jeff asks Joel from the Fans if he buys it and he doesn’t. The Faves laugh and Jonny shoots back, “You guys are dumber than you look.â€Â? Hence, the actual title of the episode.

The challenge is pretty much a race with carts. The teams will have to assemble the wheels (like puzzle pieces) and put them on their carts. They they’ll push the carts through some obstacles to a sand pit where they’ll dig up a bundle of planks which they’ll use to fill in the gaps of a bridge. The cart goes over the bridge to the finish platform where the team takes the wheels off and reassembles them (like a puzzle) to complete a turnstile. Turning the turnstile will raise a fire wok and light the top of the platform. First tribe to do all that wins immunity and flint for fire (of course the Faves already built a fire using Yau-Man’s glasses and a drop of water - no really).

The Fans get off to a great start while the Faves barely get off at all. Once the Faves do finally get going they run into a tree and injure Eliza (and their cart). They still manage to make a race of it. The most interesting thing I saw was Erik throwing dirt from their sand pit onto the Faves to try to slow them down. I thought that was a bold and smart move to make. In the end, it’s really no contest as the Fans easily defeat the Faves. Jeff tells the Faves that one of them will have the distinction of being the first person voted off.

Back at the Faves’ camp the only one without a plan is Cirie. She’s talking about how she did well in the challenge and then she tells the camera that she doesn’t know what is going to happen. Her being left out of every single loop this early in the game doesn’t bode well for her (although it could make her the swing vote that is important later). The Four Lovers reaffirm their plan to target Eliza while The Four Flukes reaffirm their plan to target Parvati.

But wait! Jonny Fairplay needs some more of the spotlight! Jonny tells Parvati (and the camera) that all he can think about is his unborn baby girl and his girlfriend/fiance and he can’t stop thinking about how there could be something wrong with them and he’s not sure he wants to stay in the game. Parvati can barely believe what she’s hearing. When Jonny says he’s leaning towards telling the others to send him home Parvati immediately latches onto a plan.

Parvati tells Jon that he should tell them exactly what he’s been telling her. She figures it would distract The Four Flukes and they will vote for Jon then The Four Lovers can vote out Eliza. Jon decides to go along with it.

He begins the plan by telling Ami what he told Parvati. Ami isn’t really falling for it, though. She goes and tells the others what he said but suggests to the others of her alliance that he might just be saying it so they vote for him instead of Parvati. It would seem she’s smarter than I’ve given her credit for in the past. Ami remarks that Jonny should make Tribal Council interesting if nothing else.

For some reason we never see anyone try to talk to Cirie. It’s like she’s not even there. I’m not sure what’s up with that. There’s two alliances of four and then Jon who is obviously the unknown factor in the whole thing. Why in the world wouldn’t one of the alliances try to target Cirie? It doesn’t make any sense.

Tribal Council

At any rate, we finally get to Tribal Council. Jeff begins his usual round of questioning which quickly turns to Jonny and the fact that he wants to go home. Jeff is skeptical of pretty much everything Jon says and questions the others at length. I’m actually surprised at some of their answers as they show a remarkable amount of awareness for Survivor players. Yau-Man wonders what Jon’s scheme is. Eliza points out that even if Jon is actually trying to quit he still might not be going home. Fairplay is adamant that he isn’t quitting no matter what he’s been saying the whole time.

And then they vote. Jeff comes back and reads the votes. Fairplay, Fairplay, Fairplay, Fairplay, Fairplay, Fairplay. With six votes read, all for Jonny Fairplay, it’s enough. Jonny Fairplay is the first person voted out of Survivor: Micronesia - Fans vs. Favorites.

I’m not really sure what happened. It was actually funny. Apparently EVERYONE decided they couldn’t trust or didn’t like Jon so everyone turned on him and voted for him…or at least six of them did. I don’t think Fairplay expected it but he played it off like it was his choice and he really wanted to leave. Good riddance.

Final Thoughts

So I’m not sure what to expect from this season. It looks like there might be some good strategy after all, but there might be some equally bad strategy as well. It would appear as though the Faves have the upper hand as far as strategic thinking goes because they’re already plotting and scheming but they could also be doing too much too soon which could hurt them in the long run if they can’t pull themselves together and work as a team to dispatch the Fans at the challenges. The Fans meanwhile need to concentrate on building a shelter and getting food and water. If they can stay strong and win challenges they have a great chance of staying in this game for the long haul. Should be interesting.